Gil Hates Everything

(A Bunnee Hates Movies Review)

bunnee reviews “bullet train” HAHAHALOL that was awesome oh wait that bit goes at the end

so roughly speaking the plot of bullet train iz as follows:
– ex hitman who iz now v zen (brad pitt) boards bullet train with goal of stealing briefcase
– two hitmen who iz escorting someone & the briefcase iz also on train
– also on train iz a woman (a hitwoman you ask? bunnee compliments yr smartness) who haz a complicated plan to kill someone
– also on train iz a… well you get the point, by now bunnee was starting to suspect everyone on train iz actually a hitperson

anyway lots of dangerous people on a train

it’s like snakes on a plane except dangerous people and a train but ‘on a’ remains a constant
there should be a franchise
X on a Y
snakes on a plane
hitmen on a train
snakes on a train (actually there iz a snake on the train, although bunnee thinks it was just biologically lethal rather than being a professional hitsnake)
murder on an orient express
avengers on an assemble
sausage onna bun

bunnee mad libs they iz GENIUS & HILAIRE anyway back to the review

bunnee haz to say the bullet train looks amazing even after compensating for camera trickery and sped-up film and whatnot
acting and script are super snappy
editing iz all “someone mentions X so we get a funny/sped-up/both flashback to X no matter how unlikely it iz” which can be annoying but works well here
good soundtrack
brad pitt v funny with combination of obvious historical murderous skills & new age pithitudes
entire cast great actually
based on book two of a trilogy by a japanese writer
bunnee might read it to see if it’s as mental as this was
anyway

HAHAHALOL that was awesome
what do you mean you knew bunnee was going to say that
do not lie
it iz the swiftest road to poor karma
& no-one likes a poor karma
it’s like a terrible jalfrezi
so do not attempt to curry favour with bunnee
or to curry bunnee for that matter

bunnee will end her review here after realizing she should have ended it somewhat earlier

hop hop